Christian Marriage Counseling

Table of Contents

Christian Marriage Counseling

Preface

Introduction

Chapter One: Christian Problem Solving is for Christians

CANDIDATES FOR CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE COUNSELING

HOMEWORK

Chapter Two: How to Solve a Problem God's Way - Not Yours

PROBLEM SOLVING FROM GOD’S WORD

To Solve A Problem, You Must Define It Scripturally

Factors That Make Problem Solving Easier

Do Not Overcome Evil with Evil

Be Fair

Don’t Make Mountains out of Molehills

Let Love Cover a Multitude of Sins

Blame Shifting Insures Failure

Communicate Scripturally in Problem Solving

Anger and Problem Solving Do Not Mix

The Problem of Different Opinions

What About the Law?

Don’t Use “Peace” as a Substitute for Making the Hard

Decisions That Bring Solution

There is a Biblical Agenda for Every Problem

Go and reprove him in private.

Take one or two more with you.

Tell it to the church.

And if he refuses to listen even to the church

God Does Not Want Every Problem Solved

HOMEWORK

Chapter Three: How to Talk to Your Mate

A STUDY IN BIBLICAL COMMUNICATION

Failures In Communication

Speaking The Truth In Love

Speak

The Truth

In Love

What Else Is Required?

How To Say It

Forgiveness

Get The Facts

Believe (Trust)

Don't Judge Motives

Don't Expect Mind Reading

Don’t Use Emotion as a Substitute for Logic

Avoid "Many Words"

Watch Your “Body Language”

The Problem

Grieving the Holy Spirit

Unwholesome Word

Bitterness

Wrath

Anger

Clamor

Slander

Malice

The Solution

How Do I Do It?

Edification

Be Kind

Tenderhearted

Forgiving

HOMEWORK

Chapter Four: Christian Marriage Counseling - How to Forgive When Terribly Wronged

A PRACTICAL EXPOSITION OF LUKE 17:3-10 AND MATTHEW 18:23-35

I Don’t Want To Forgive!

God Commands You to Rebuke

The Love of A Fight

There Are Three Major Reasons Why You Refuse To Forgive

I’ll Forgive When He Proves He’s Sincere

I’ll Need More Faith to Pull That Off

It’s Simply Too Hard, I Can’t Do It!

Just How Much Have You Been Forgiven?

But He Didn’t Ask For Forgiveness

But I Can’t Stop Thinking About It

I will not bring this up against you, and to you, ever again.

I will not bring this up against you, and to another person, ever again.

I will not bring this up against you, and to myself, ever again.

Out Of the Heavenlies and Into the Trenches

Philippians 4:8 Think List

HOMEWORK

Chapter Five: Christian Marriage Counseling - How to Cure Emotions in Turmoil

INSIGHTS FROM JOHN 12:27-28A AND JOHN 14:1-4 AND JOHN 14:25-27

Emotions in Turmoil

I Need Definitions!

Reality

Desires

“I’ve Been Hurt”

“I Need To Heal”

Faith Determines What You Choose To Think About

My Son Is Scheduled To Die

Make Me Feel Better

The Disciples Were Troubled As Well

What Does This Mean To You?

How To Keep Your Emotions In Turmoil

The Result?

HOMEWORK

Chapter Six: Christian Marriage Counseling - How to Heal Hurt Feelings

WITH REFERENCE TO I PETER 4:8 AND I CORINTHIANS 13:4-7

He Hurt My Feelings

So What Are ‘Hurt Feelings’ Anyway?

What Is The Solution To Hurt Feelings?

Love

This Is How It Works

But I Have Needs

I See “The What”, But Where’s “The How”?

HOMEWORK

Chapter Seven: How to Deal with Depression

TAMING THE BEAST WITHIN

Introduction

Origins

Depression Is A Secondary Response

Anger and Depression

Anger, Greed, and Depression

Conflicts, Pleasures, Lusts, Murder, Envy, Fights, Quarrels, and Depression

Anxiety, The Problems Others Experience and Depression

Fear, Discouragement and Depression

Grief, Death and Depression

God and Depression

God comforts the Depressed

Salvation and Depression

Summary

Stay On These Drugs Or Go Back Into The Mental Hospital

A Practical Assignment

HOMEWORK

Chapter Eight: How to Suffer for Doing Good

A PRACTICAL EXPOSITION OF I PETER 2:13-3:7

Suffer?

Submission

Rulers

Masters

Wives

Husbands

What's The Next Step?

Are There Limits To Submission?

HOMEWORK

Chapter Nine: How to Change

A STUDY IN EPHESIANS 4:17-32

Does the Bible Really Work?

Common Themes

Must You Change?

How Did You Get This Way?

Not the Way of Christ

Putting Off Adam, Putting On Christ

Illustrations of God’s Method of Change

The Problem of Lying

The Problem of Anger

The Problem of Theft

The Problem of the Mouth

The Problem of Bitterness

How Does a Person Change?

Intensity

HOMEWORK

Conclusion

Reasons Church Members Will Not Go To Their Pastor for

Counseling

Reasons Why Pastors Do Not Counsel

Appendix A

Examine Yourselves

Appendix B

Sleep

Appendix C

Brain-Disabling Treatments in Psychiatry: Drugs, Electroshock, and the Role of the FDA

Principles of Brain-Disabling Treatment

Conclusion

Appendix D

ADD: Does It Really Exist?

The Rating Game

A Brave New World of Soulless Tests

In Search of a Deficit

A Model of Machines and Disease

In Search of the ADD Brain

The Stigma of ADD

Appendix E

Training Opportunities for the Biblical Counselor

Appendix F

Books of Value on Problem Solving

Subject Index

Scripture Index

The Author

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